Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woke up backwards on a recliner
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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