your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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