oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
