Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
