You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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