we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
