you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
