Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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