I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
