Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
