i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
