The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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