I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
