they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
