Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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