YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
