and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
