he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
