If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
