not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
