my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
please come you make the beer taste better
there was a trapeze. enough said
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
