Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
