I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we're making bets on your personal life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
