You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
