Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found your dick twin last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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