I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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