I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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