and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
