Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
