quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
