You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
