So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
