I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just gift wrapped bread.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
