chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
