I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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