i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
