I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i permit you to call me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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