So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
