her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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