Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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