"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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