Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
