i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
