i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This baby is an asshole
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
