I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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