Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't just leave with hair like that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
