You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
