i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
