it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
