He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
