Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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