I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
