I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
